Kaip Išsiskirti Su Mylimu žmogumi - 20 Dalykų, Kuriuos Turėtumėte Nepamiršti

2024 Autorius: Cecilia Ryder | [email protected]. Paskutinį kartą keistas: 2023-12-17 14:21

Išsiskyrimas yra labai sunkus, net kai išsiskiriate su žmogumi, kurio negalite pakęsti dar viena sekunde. Tačiau nėra nieko pražūtingesnio, nei nutraukti ryšius su vis dar mylimu žmogumi, nesvarbu, ar tai BFF vaikinas, ar beprotiškas „aš-myliu-tave, bet aš-labai-nelaimingas-šiuose santykiuose-dauguma“-kartinis 'bae.

Tai pasakyti nėra lengvo būdo - tai užima daug laiko. Tai tikriausiai yra vienas sunkiausių dalykų, kuriuos turite padaryti gyvenime, ir yra sunku bei emocinga. Nors išsiskirti su vis dar mylimu žmogumi nėra lengva, tai nereiškia, kad nėra dalykų, kuriuos galite ir turėtumėte padaryti, kad palengvintumėte procesą abiem. Paslaptis yra būti sąžiningam ir gerbti kito žmogaus jausmus. Štai keli žingsniai, kuriuos turėtumėte atlikti, kad sveikai išsiskirtumėte ir greičiau nuo to pasveiktumėte.

Kaip išsiskirti su kuo nors

1. Pagalvokite prieš priimdami sprendimą

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Ar tikrai norite išsiskirti? Ar tai geriausias žingsnis žengti? Jei išsiskiriate ir po to norite iš karto susiburti, jūsų partneris gali nebenorėti būti santykiuose. Jie gali pradėti galvoti, kad buvote teisus, kai atsisakėte dalykų. Net jei abu nusprendėte vėl susiburti, kas gali pasakyti, kad jūsų jausmai išliks tokie patys? Padaryta žala negali būti panaikinta. Štai kodėl jums reikia skirti šiek tiek laiko pagalvoti, kodėl svarstote galimybę išsiskirti.

Klauskite patarimų iš draugų ir šeimos narių, kuriais pasitikite. Atminkite, kad išsiskyrimas nėra stebuklinga piliulė santykių problemoms spręsti. Tiesą sakant, viskas, ko gali prireikti, yra sąžiningas pokalbis su partneriu. Pagalvokite apie tai - ar tai, ką pasieksite per šį išsiskyrimą, atsveria dalykus, kuriuos prarasite? Jei taip, galbūt išsiskyrimas yra teisingas kelias.

Be to, jei nustatėte santykių problemas, svarbu, kad prieš išsiskirdami abu suteiktų vienas kitam galimybę juos išspręsti. Jei esate tikras dėl savo sprendimo, prieš priimant galutinį sprendimą, jūsų darbas yra papasakoti apie savo nuoskaudas ir rūpesčius. Iš pradžių tai pakenks jūsų partneriui, tačiau bent jau jie turės galimybę išspręsti jums rūpimas problemas. Be to, jei vėliau nuspręsite išsiskirti, jų nenustebsite.

2. Nuspręskite, ko negalite pažeisti, ir laikykitės savo sprendimo

Sunku priimti sprendimą, kai negali tiksliai nustatyti, kas yra blogai jūsų santykiuose arba kaip tai veikia gyvenimą, kurį norite gyventi. Svarbu žinoti, ko norite iš gyvenimo, kaip elgiatės su kitais ir savimi ir kaip tikitės, kad kiti elgsis su jumis. Pagalvokite, ką patartumėte bičiuliui, kuris yra toje pačioje situacijoje kaip ir jūs.

Jei vienas partneris nori vaikų, o kitas ne, labai sunku rasti vidurį. Net ten, kur norite nuolat gyventi, gali būti pakankamai rimta priežastis nenusileisti. Jūs turite žinoti, kas tai yra, ir būti tikri, kad gyvenate savo tiesą ir gyvenimą. Dažnai pamirštame, kad priimdami gyvenimo sprendimus turėtume suteikti sau daugiau meilės ir rūpesčio ar bent tiek pat.

3. Pirma, įsimylėk savo galva

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Tai nepaprastai sunku priimti. Jei nuolat apsėstumėte laiką, kai buvote laimingas, negalėsite išsiskirti su savo vaikinu. Bet jei sugebėsite atpažinti gerus ir blogus laikus, turėsite aiškią idėją, ar jums reikia išsiskirti, ar ne. Kažką sluoksniuoto ir sudėtingo santykio gali būti labai sunku apibrėžti vienu žodžiu ar jausmu, ypač kai bandote apibendrinti visus buvimo kartu metus. Štai kodėl reikia priartinti.

Reflect on the past and the times you have felt uneasy, uncertain, scared, or betrayed. Focus on the times some part inside you told you something is wrong. Consider why you felt what you felt. If you are sure that it is time to break up, do not focus on the happy moments you have had together. Build up your mental strength and banish the thoughts from your head, or you will go crazy. Focus on the reasons for breaking up with your partner. Once you have made the decision, simply rip off the band-aid – do it and don’t ever look back.

4. Be Ready To Let Go Completely, At Least For A While

If you are 100% sure you want to end things between the two of you, be prepared to have a no-contact policy ready. Do not text them about something funny that happened at work or send them memes. Take some time apart to get a healthy perspective on the breakup and learn from it.

However, if you work together, this may not be an option for you. Maybe you both are BFFs, and the breakup would be a painless transition to being just friends. But don’t just reach out because you are bored or don’t have anybody else to share the news with. Give each other time to heal.

5. Plan What To Do After The Breakup

What are you going to do after the breakup goes through? If you both are living together, you have to decide on who gets to stay and who gets which item. Find out if you have enough money to move out and get a place of your own or pay rent. You need to have supportive people around you who will keep you stable emotionally during this tumultuous transition. Do you have friends or relatives who will take you in for a while if you have to leave but can’t get a place of your own yet?

If you don’t live in, break the news at their house or a public place so that you can leave when you need to. However, if your partner has the tendency to become physically and emotionally abusive, it is best to choose a public place and have a friend nearby. If you feel you could really be in danger, better do it over the phone and change your number and location immediately.

6. Forgive Yourself If You Can’t Make The Cleanest Break

Love is messy, but breakups are messier. Ideally, you should break up in private and give yourselves plenty of time to voice your feelings. If you still love them and they mean a lot to you, you might have a few false breakups – i.e., you will separate and keep getting back together for a while.

You need to forgive yourself for sending the occasional texts – everyone has done it sometime in their life, especially when drunk. Clean breaks are quite rare, so some emotional cycling back and forth is very normal. However, even though you can allow yourself some slip-ups, do your best to stick to your decision.

7. Select The Right Time And Place

If you want to have a smooth break, you need to do it at the right time and place. Not doing it respectfully and properly could make your partner not even want to be friends with you anymore. Unless you both are in a long-distance relationship, do not break up with them over the phone. Unless they could get abusive, don’t break up it in a public place.

It is not easy to be emotionally honest when people are trying to hear what is going on. Avoid breaking up in the middle of an argument because you both may say or do things you will regret. Also, if your partner is in the middle of a health, work, family, or personal crisis, wait for it to be over before you spring this on them.

8. Talk To Your Partner First

Don’t blurt the topic out of nowhere. Send them a message that you want to talk about something serious. It would be much better if you say it directly. You need to do this at least several hours before you break up with your partner. Giving a heads up will let your partner know that something is up.

Help them get emotionally prepared for what they are about to hear. Before calling it quits, you need to ask yourself two questions: ‘Is this relationship irreconcilable?’ and ‘Have you both done all that you can?’ You can also seek counseling if you want to work on this. All serious relationships have rough patches. So, it could just be a rough patch, and you both may eventually get out of it.

9. Don’t Deal With It By Yourself

Breaking up with someone you love can cause a lot of stress, which can lead to drastic changes in your appetite, sleep, and mood. You may feel lonely and a lack of connection. You need to connect with people who love and care for you.

Sure, if you need some space to heal, get it. But retreating from everybody can make you feel even worse. Talk to friends and family – this will not only help you feel more loved and less lonely, but it can also help you learn more from the breakup.

10. Be Kind And Emphatic

It is no doubt tough for you to say, but it is also very tough for them to hear. You should be aware that they will be very shocked and hurt. After all, your lives are about to change in one instant. You need to keep in mind that you will probably be emotional as well. It is not going to be an easy talk. But you are not simply breaking up without a cause, so don’t doubt yourself just because emotions are building up.

To have a more compassionate and kind breakup, tell them that you did not regret the time you spent together. Convey future wishes to your partner and be very nice and genuine. Explain to the person why you want a breakup. Emphasize the good things you both gained from this relationship. Avoid leaving on a sour note or blaming them for the breakup. Convince them that the breakup is good for both of you. Stay positive and empathetic.

11. Make Your Intentions Clear

Don’t try to sugar coat things related to the breakup. Don’t beat around the bush – deliver a direct and clear message. Avoid any miscommunication. Ensure that you have clearly communicated your intentions. Say what is on your mind and be honest. If you intend to hurt the person, the breakup will get all messy.

If your partner has questions, answer them as long as you are not uncomfortable. Keep in mind that you are not breaking up for their good – you are doing it for yours.

12. Speak In A Respectful And Honest Manner

The moment is here. By now, you should know what you want to say. Blurting out the first few sentences can be very anxiety-filled. Take a deep, long breath and wait until you are ready to speak. Look into your partner’s eyes as you bare your heart out. Be assertive. Use more ‘I’ than ‘you’.

Simply concentrating on their mistakes can make them feel worse. It can also backfire if they start to defend themselves or promise to change for the better to prolong the relationship. If you have decided to end it, do NOT let your partner negotiate with you.

13. Solve Existing Issues Between You Both

You should be open about any hurt they have caused you. Encourage your partner to be honest as well. All the issues that have been swept under the rug should be talked about and sorted once and for all. Cry if you need to; it is good for your emotional health.

Let go of emotional baggage – this will help you both. Explain your side and point of view. This will not only allow you both to part on good terms but also provide closure.

14. Don’t Blame Them

Don’t try to play the blame game. You can change your mind if you want to and make different decisions than the ones you made in the past. Accept responsibility and don’t overcompensate for your reasoning. Explain how difficult the situation is for everyone involved.

Yes, you will hurt the other person, but the hurt is part of the healing process. Don’t try to control their behavior or reaction – they are entitled to it. If you are not able to accept them for who they are, don’t blame them for that.

15. Ask If You Both Can Still Be Friends

It is possible to be friends with an ex-lover. What is important is both of the parties should be aware that what is done is done, and there are boundaries now that shouldn’t ever be crossed again. If they want to stay friends, tell them that you need some time away for now. Take the time you need to heal and learn to adjust to a life without one another.

Keeping in contact after a breakup only leads to confusion – are you just being friendly or do you still care about them? If they do not want to be friends with you, that is perfectly fine as well. Remove them from your social network sites and delete their contact number.

16. Focus On The Future

It may be difficult to understand how breaking up is the best thing to do, but if you discuss it and focus on how you both can benefit from it, it may be easier for you to move on. If you naturally get back together later, that is awesome, but don’t force it. Sometimes, you may need a little space and time to forget why you broke up in the first place. This is true whether you both are high-school sweethearts or BFFs turned lovers.

Often, people grow apart because they are too young. But as you both get older, you come to your senses and can rationalize like an adult about what happened between you. That’s why it is important to not focus on the past. It is done with, and there is no need to cry about what could have been done differently.

17. Get Rid Of Things That Remind You Of Him

Avoid overthinking and putting yourself through emotional trauma. Get rid of the things that remind you of your ex. Throw the love letters away or ask a friend to store them for you. Delete any romantic posts and photos on Facebook or Instagram.

18. Don’t Blame Yourself For Breaking Up

Yes, you were the one to decide to break up, but why is that a bad thing? Feeling pain and loss is completely normal. But it isn’t okay to feel guilty even months after the breakup. Be proud that you were adult enough to take it upon yourself to move on.

19. Enjoy Your Alone Time

Don’t rush into other relationships. You are single and ready to mingle. However, this doesn’t mean you should. It is up to you to decide how much time you need to heal before you take a chance at love again. While you can get it on with a rebound, it is better that you don’t. This will in no way help you to move on.

Prioritize yourself. Go out with your friends to have fun, but reject any romantic advances. Focus on yourself for now. Spend quality time with your family and friends. Read that book you have been meaning to or learn a new language. Try learning to play a new instrument. Stay busy and be happy.

20. Fill Your Life With Other Things You Love

Keep busy, even if it inherently makes you want to crawl back into bed. Emotion-focused coping doesn’t get rid of the issue, but it does distract you briefly from stress. Watching your favorite movie, indulging in comfort foods, going for a run, or doing a fun activity can help you get back on track. It will keep you feeling happier and emotionally balanced, and you can focus on making bigger changes.

Pradžioje visi santykiai jaudina. Negalite laukti, kol pamatysite savo baimę, ir labai malonu žinoti, kad jie jaučia jus taip pat. Tačiau viskas ima keistis, nes poros pradeda geriau pažinti vienas kitą. Vieni užmezga artimus, patogius santykius, o kiti nutolsta.

Žmonės išsiskiria dėl daugelio priežasčių - ir vienas iš jų yra augimas atskirai. Galbūt jūs abu per daug ginčijatės arba nenorite tų pačių dalykų gyvenime. Kad ir kokia būtų priežastis, įsitikinkite, kad veiksmai, kurių imatės nutraukdami santykius, nesulaužys kito žmogaus sielos. Darykite tai su meile ir pozityvumu, ir kas žino, vieną dieną tai bus kažkas, į kurį pažvelgsite su meile ir malonumu. Viskas kas geriausia!